Family is Family
by Agent R
Summary: FINSIHED! Methos has a secret that's tearing at him as he keeps it, he's related to someone he knows, but he can't let the secret get out. As the truth continues to torment him, his friends worry for his well-being.
1. Default Chapter

Family is Family

Richie poked his head into Methos' room and saw that he'd fallen asleep once again at the foot of his bed while reading. He knocked on the doorframe and bellowed, "Hey Methos!"

Methos snorted and grunted as he woke up, "Wha...where am I?"

"In your room," Richie told him.

"Oh I am? Then get out, I belong here," Methos said as he rubbed his eyes.

"You okay?" Richie asked as he walked in, "You've been doing that a lot."

"Doing what?"

"Falling asleep for an hour and then not knowing what day it is or where you are," Richie explained as he sat at the foot of the bed beside Methos.

"Oh I have?"

"Are you feeling allright? It's been four days and you've stopped insulting me," Richie said.

"I never insulted you, Richie," Methos said as he gathered some of his papers together.

"Yes you have, always calling me "brat" and "kid"."

"I have? Sorry..."

"Clearly you **are** sick, what's wrong with you?" Richie asked.

"Nothing, Richie, nothing at all, I'm just so tired."

"Why is that? Haven't you been getting any sleep?"

"Yes, that's the bloody thing I don't get...I'm actually able to sleep at night, so why am I so bloody tired during the day?"

"Beats the hell out of me."

"...no comment."

Now Richie was getting worried, usually when he said 'beats the hell out of me', Methos would reply with 'don't tempt me' or 'I'd love to'.

Without saying another word, Richie got up from the bed and left the room.

"Do you have any idea what's wrong with Methos?" Richie asked Amber that night.

"Yes," she replied as she polished her sword.

"What?"

"He's 4,900 years past dead, and still he's here," Amber replied.

"Funny...I'm serious."

"I don't know, I don't see him much outside of class...what's he doing?"

"He's stopped calling me "brat", he keeps falling asleep in the middle of the day and wakes up and hour later with no idea where he is, and he has no smart remarks."

"Maybe he's sick."

"Immortals don't get sick," Richie said.

"We got sick..."

"That was different."

"How?"

"It just was. I can't figure out what's wrong with him."

"Well why should you care?"

"You're right, I don't know why I bother."

"I don't know why you bother either, now what time is it?"

"Uh...12:45."

"Goodnight," Amber said as she put her sword on the table.

"What?"

"I have been on my feet since 3:30 this morning, I'm exhausted," Amber pulled off her boots and jumped into bed, "good night."

"Yeah," Richie said as he grabbed his jacket.

"Where're you going?" she asked.

"I'm going out for a while."

"You're not going out drinking again, are you?"

"No."

"Good, last time you were so grotesque, I thought Marilyn Manson was out of a job," Amber said.

Richie smirked as he adjusted the collar on his jacket, "Are you going to behave while I'm gone?"

"Please, I'm going to sleep, the worst case scenario is either I fall out of bed, I eat my cigarettes in my sleep, or I have a wet dream. Now get out of here, kid, you bother me," Amber said as she turned over in bed.

Richie opened the window and climbed down the side and headed over to the garage to get his bike out.

Richie had crossed over towards Miami to see his girlfriend, Valerie Hopkins. She was currently staying at her parent's summer home while they were in Nevada on business. They saw it as the perfect place to go when they wanted to be alone. Val had mixed together a couple of margaritas for the evening. They made themselves comfortable on the couch in the living room and made small talk for about an hour.

"You know Val, I should do this more often."

"What? Sneak out of your house in the middle of the night?"

"No, well yeah, but besides that."

"Richie," the blonde girl laughed, "are you feeling okay? You seem a bit 'off' tonight."

"Off what? We haven't even gotten started yet," Richie replied.

"Well then I better take that," Val said as she slipped the margarita glass out of Richie's hand, "Richie, can I be frank with you for a minute?"

"Sure," Richie belched, "But can I still be me?"

"Richie, how long have you been doing this?" Val asked.

"You mean making small talk with beautiful women? All my life."

Val giggled, "I mean, how long have you been sneaking out of your home to come see me?"

"Off and on...about 3 months."

"How well do you think you know me by now?" Val asked as she sat the glasses down on the coffee table.

"Baby," Richie burped, "I know you better than any woman I've ever met before."

"Well then there's something you don't know about me."

"Oh?" Richie asked, "Are you really a man?"

"No," Val nervously laughed, "Richie...I'm a virgin."

"Oh. I get it."

"You do?"

"Yeah, forbidden fruit 's always the sh'weetest."

"You obviously HAVE had enough to drink," Val said, "no, Richie...I don't want to risk what's between us by getting intimate anytime soon."

"Well don't worry," Richie grunted, "you can't git pre'gnant."

"What?"

"I mean...I can't have kids, I neva could, and I never will."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Richie."

"'S okay, keeps me away from a lot of the exes if you know whut I mean," Richie laughed.

"Richie," Val said firmly.

"I know, I know...you are a wanting me to respect your wishes in terms of your abstinence," Richie said.

"Yes. Very much so."

Richie looked at her for a minute before saying, "'S okay, it's what you 'vaunt to do."

"Do you really mean that, Richie?" she asked.

"So what? If I'm not, yer can run it by me again when I'm good an' sober," Richie said.

"That's all I ask."

"I'm just asking, what was wrong with it?"

"Duncan, five men got killed, another ten were hanging on to dear life, and the hero of that crappy picture was a delivery boy. That movie is the worst thing I've seen since Little Shop of Horrors."

"When did you ever see..."

Duncan stopped when he saw Amber at the foot of the stairs with her motorcycle helmet.

"Amber."

"Duncan."

"What is that?"

"What's what?"

"That thing in your hands."

"Uh...my helmet," she said.

"Exactly," Duncan smirked, "what're you doing with it?"

"Uh," Amber looked down at her helmet, "I was worried about falling out of bed?"

Amber looked up and saw that Duncan still had that look in his eyes, that untrusting look.

"Okay, uh..." she tried again, "I dreamt I was a formula 1 racer?" Again she saw he wasn't buying it, "No?"

"Amber, I want to know what you're doing with it, down here, at 2:30 in the morning."

"I...I..."

Duncan grabbed Amber's wrist so she'd face him, he looked her straight in the eyes.

"You are going to bed and I'm going to deal with you in the morning," Duncan said.

Amber looked down at the floor and turned around and headed upstairs. She pitched her helmet at the table in the hall as she headed into her room. Richie was passed out on his bed, looking like he'd been reincarnated as a rag.

Hell of a hangover come morning, she thought.

Amber shook her head, she wasn't going to spend the night with the lush who got her in trouble. She grabbed the pillows off her bed and headed across the hall over to Methos' room. She knocked on the frame twice before she opened the door and walked over to his couch.

"What is it?" a quiet voice asked.

Amber looked over at the bed, Methos was still as a corpse with a cloth over his eyes.

"Oh nothing. Richie just got me in trouble with Mac because I had to go over to Miami, snag his knee high drunken butt back here before they got back from Schlock theater, that's what."

"Don't be hard on Richie," Methos weakly replied.

"What is that? Your dying wish or something?" Amber asked.

Amber went over to the bed and noticed the cloth was draped completely over his eyes.

"Methos, do you have a hangover or something?"

"No."

"Well I think this cloth slipped, it should be on your forehead, not over your eyeballs," Amber set her thumb and fore-finger nails on the ends of the cloth, "I'll just adjust it and..."

"Don't touch it, please."

Amber drew her hands back, "Okay, if that's what you want. Why? Do your eyes hurt?"

"Please...just let me sleep," he quietly begged.

"Allright."

Amber headed back over to the couch, yanked off her boots, swung her feet up onto the arm of the couch and fell asleep.

"If she won't tell you why then there's either a good reason or no reason."

"No reason. Amanda, it is 50 degrees outside at night."

"So?"

"So when I touched her last night, her arm was freezing, she'd just gotten in."

"Well what do you have to worry about? She can't get pregnant and she doesn't just go looking for a fight, what else could she have done?"

"Take a guess," Duncan told her.

"MacLeod, she is not the type of girl to go out looking for a good time, so just relax. If she wants to tell you, she will, just get off her damn back."

Richie came charging down the stairs holding onto the railing so he wouldn't fall and yelled up the stairs, "That's fine and all, just get off my damn back!"

"Richie, what's going on?" Amanda asked.

"Amber and I got in an argument today about what happened last night."

"Last night?"

"Yeah, I was kind of out of it last night and needed her to come down and get me, and now she says she got in trouble because of it. Women, go figure."

"Indeed," Duncan replied.

Richie headed out the back door and took off on his motorcycle.

"Well?" Amanda asked.

"Well what?"

"I think you owe Amber an apology."

"For what?" Duncan asked.

"For accusing her of causing trouble when all she was doing was protecting Richie from us."

"So you want me to punish Richie."

"I don't want you to punish anyone, just apologize to Amber."

"Apologize for what?" Amber asked at the head of the stairs.

Duncan looked up, "Richie told me what happened last night."

"He did?"

"Yes, I'm sorry for last night" Duncan said, "will you come down here?"

"Why should I?"

"Amber, he apologized for acting like an ass, what more do you want?"

"Nothing, that's just what I got."

"Amber, will you please come down here?" Duncan asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have to wake up Methos."

"He's still asleep?" Amanda asked.

"Last I checked."

"When was that?"

"When I woke up."

"What?" Duncan asked.

"I didn't want to sleep with Richie after he got me in trouble so I slept with Methos."

"WHAT!?"

"Well, don't get your kilt in a knot, we didn't sleep together, he was in his bed and I took the couch, that's all."

Amber ran back to Methos' bedroom before Duncan had a chance to say anything else, she went in and shook the seemingly lifeless bundle on the bed. Methos grunted and removed the cloth from over his eyes, "What is it, kid?"

"8:15 A.M. is what it is, are you allright?" Amber asked.

"Yes."

"Then what the hell was wrong with you last night?"

"That is none of your concern," he said.

"Maybe not."

Amber jerked Methos up by his collar, with a tight grasp on it.

"Hey-hey-hey! What're you doing kid?" he asked.

Amber sniffed a couple of times, "Well you weren't intoxicated last night. That's for damn sure. But something's going on with you, and I'd like to know what the hell it is."

Amber threw back the covers and jerked his feet out of bed and onto the ground.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you up, come on," Amber said as she pulled on his arm.

"Ouch!"

"What?"

"My back."

"Fine," Amber pulled Methos up out of the bed, "lean on me and I'll get you into the bathroom."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Methos, you're the closest thing I've had to family in years, and we have a theory regarding family."

"That being?"

"Family is family, they're the people you bend over backwards for."

Amber helped Methos over to the bathroom and over to the sink, "How's that?"

"Fine, fine..."

"Okay, but if you're not downstairs in 20 minutes, I'm coming after you."

Amber closed the door on her way out and headed back downstairs.

"How is he?" Amanda asked.

"Who?"

"Methos, how is he?"

"I don't know, I don't know what's wrong with him."

"Why do you think something's wrong with him?" Duncan asked.

"Because, when I went in his room last night, he didn't move, I went over to talk to him, he wanted to sleep, and he had this thing draped over his eyes that he wouldn't let me move it. Today, he stayed in bed longer than he does, and he wasn't even drunk, he tried to get up, but he has a catch in his back, so I helped him into the bathroom. I tell you, if he's not down here in half an hour, I'm sticking him in a cold shower."

"Maybe he's just exhausted, we all have been lately."

"He's right, we've just had so much to do."

"Please, after what happened last Halloween I feel like running a marathon, swimming the English Channel, climbing a mountain, hell, I feel like doing the back-stroke to Belize and Richie and me are the ones that did all that running around that night."

"Well it could just be a personal thing, just give him some time."

"And maybe some privacy," Duncan said.

"Privacy, what is it with you people and privacy? Every person in this house has seen me naked and vice versa, what's with the desire for privacy?"

"Well Amber, it might not be good for him with you always bugging him."

"Bug? I don't bug him, we're like family, I'm there for him, he's there for me. Unfortunately I tend to take more than I give in those situations," Amber said, "believe me Mac, there's nothing wrong with him that's that bad."

"You were right," Amber said when Richie walked in the bedroom.

"About what?" Richie asked as he removed his helmet.

"Something's wrong with Methos."

"Yeah so?"

"So I think it might be something serious."

"Serious? Like what?"

"I don't know, but he's not himself."

"How would you know? He's 5,000 years old, he hardly even knows who 'himself' is," Richie said.

"Well I know Methos, and this is not the man I met 5 years ago. So, moving on, how was your day?"

"Shot."

"That bad huh?"

"Didn't you hear? I was shot," Richie said.

"Bar fight?"

"No, Val's parents found out about me and they don't like their daughter dating a mature college man like myself," Richie said.

"Then I guess you won't be heading over to Miami anytime soon."

"Probably not," Richie said as he put his helmet on the table, "if you need me, I'm going to be in the shower."

"I'll call the newspapers," Amber sarcastically replied.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, since Methos hasn't been his regular self, I guess I've taken over as the old cynic," Amber said.

"Don't worry about Methos, whatever's wrong with him, he'll straighten it out, he always does," Richie said as he lifted his shirt above his head.

"Perhaps, but I think this time it's different," Amber said.

Methos had fallen asleep in the middle of the afternoon again, he was in a heavy sleep. Nothing disturbed him until a door slammed downstairs, then he shot up gasping.

Thank God, he thought, it was only a dream.

Unfortunately, he knew that the real problem wouldn't pass as easily as a dream. He reached under his bed and pulled out the large brown envelope. Everything was in there, everything that started this whole mess, and he couldn't let anyone know about it.

What the bloody hell am I going to do? he asked himself.


	2. chapter 2

"Where is he?" Duncan asked.

"Where's who?" Richie asked.

"Methos, where is he?"

"Why?"

"Why? I went out to start the car and it has a dent in it half a foot long."

"So?"

"So he was the last one who used the car."

"Well even if he did do it, I doubt he'd have an argument for you," Amber said, "he's been acting weird lately."

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Mac, when was the last time he had anything to say to you that related to any of his cynical talk?" Amber asked.

Duncan thought for a minute, "about two weeks."

"Exactly, and when was the last time he did anything to get your dander up?" Amber asked.

"A little longer than two weeks."

"Exactly," Richie said, "there's something wrong with him. He's lost his touch, he doesn't do anything to annoy anyone anymore."

"And it's getting worse, yesterday he was late to History class and he was a wreck all throughout Biology," Amber added.

Amanda walked in the front door wearing a trench coat despite the warm weather, "What's everyone talking about?"

"Methos. Amanda, something's wrong with him."

"I know, which is why I think I know how to snap him out of it," she said.

"How?" Duncan asked.

"Let's just say that I have my ways," Amanda said as she seductively unbuttoned her coat and loosened the knot in the belt.

Methos was lying on his bed staring up into the ceiling, trying to think. Unfortunately he found it difficult to think when he had a booming migraine. He had massive pain from the back of his skull to the bottom of his nose, the whole time he felt like throwing up every time he moved or felt an increase in the room temperature.

My God, I think I'm going to die, he thought.

Of course he knew that that was impossible, but he felt like it all the same. His every thought regarding his pain was disturbed when there was a knock at the door, "come in," he groaned.

Amanda stepped in wearing her trench coat still, "Methos, I need an opinion."

"On what?" Methos barely asked.

"I bought a new dress, but I wanted to get your opinion before asking MacLeod, you don't mind, do you?" Amanda asked.

"No," Methos dryly replied.

Amanda quickly unfastened the buttons and let her coat slip off her body and fall to the floor, revealing her in a see-through skin tone dress. The bottom of the dress came right down to the bottom of her hips, and the material that would've revealed her breasts and her crotch were covered by golden sequins.

"What do you think? Does it look too flashy?" Amanda asked.

"No," Methos replied, "you look just fine, beautiful in fact."

"Methos, don't lie to me, I know that Mac would never want me in this thing. Hell, **_I _**don't want me in this thing. What is the matter with you?" Amanda asked as she walked over to the bed and seated herself at the foot of it.

"Nothing," Methos said as he rolled over.

"Yes it is," she said, "for the past few weeks you have done nothing but mope around this house, and when you're not doing that, you're falling asleep. You've stopped insulting us, you've stopped being a cynic, you've stopped using that worldly smart-ass charm that is Methos. Normally if I came in wearing this, you'd say the dress was too revealing and that I was a human playground."

"Oh Amanda, I would not."

"There you go again!" Amanda said, "What happened to the man who would've told me to put my clothes on? What happened to all the times you called me Jezebel?"

"I'm sorry Amanda, I didn't mean to upset you," Methos said as he rolled over to face her.

"I am upset, but not because of what you did then, of what you're doing now and what you **_should_** be doing. Methos, what happened? Is something wrong? Did someone die? Uh...did you meet someone and it didn't work out? What happened? How can we help you if you don't tell us?" Amanda asked.

"I don't need help, nothing's wrong," Methos said.

"Yes it is, you've gone into this period of depression and it's not going away," Amanda said.

"Look, what I do is my own business, it's none of your concern and I would appreciate it if you left," Methos said.

"You really want me to leave?" Amanda asked.

"Yes," Methos answered as he closed his eyes to rest.

"Then make me."

"What?" Methos asked as his eyes opened wide.

"Make me, yell at me, push me out, carry me over your shoulder like yesterday's garbage and dump me on the floor, do something like you normally would," Amanda said.

"Like I normally would," Methos slowly repeated as he sat up.

"Yes, do something. But don't just lie in bed like a corpse."

"I can't help it," he quietly said as he laid back down.

"What?"

"I have a bloody awful migraine, I don't wish to do anything but lie in bed like a corpse," he quietly replied.

"Allright, I'll excuse your behavior this time, but when that migraine's gone, I want an explanation," she said.

Amanda got up from the bed and took her coat with her on the way out as she closed the door behind her. She returned to her room and to several anxious people.

"Well?"

"Nothing, I can't get him to crack," she admitted.

Damn!" Richie said as he pounded his fist on the trunk.

"Shit," Amber groaned as she fell back on the bed.

"Did he say anything?" Duncan asked.

"Nothing more than he has a migraine for the time being. I don't get it, I did everything as best as I could. I went in acting casual, I made sure the dress was mortifying in all the right places. I kept waiting for him to call me Jezebel and tell me to leave before someone saw me, but nothing," Amanda said.

"So what do we do now?" Richie asked.

"I don't really think there's anything we can **_do_** about him, Richie, he's obviously down about something...who knows, maybe Immortals can be manic-depressives."

"What?" Amber asked.

"Something that results from years of drinking," Amanda said, "you're up and hyper for a certain amount of time, then you're down and depressed for around the same amount of time, if not longer. Let's face it, we know how much Methos drinks."

"Yeah but he's never been hyper a day in his life," Amber said, "so I think we can dismiss that thought, hell I don't think he's ever been active a day in his life."

"Maybe it's a personal problem, when something person happens, people often want to be alone," Amanda thought.

"Sure, but what? He spends most of his time at home," Richie said.

"I don't know," Amanda said, "all I know is he knows something, and he's not telling us."

"So how do we find out?" Amber asked.

"We can't, until he's willing to tell us," Richie said.

"Maybe not, Richie," Duncan said.

"Huh?"

"How potent is this stuff?" Amber asked as she glared at the liquid in the bottle.

"This stuff would make anyone talk, trust me," Amanda said, "I've used it before."

"On whom?" Richie asked as he grabbed the bottle.

"None of your business," Amanda told him as she took the bottle back.

"So how does this work?"

"We give this to him hypodermically."

"I know what that is, what next?"

"After a while, we see if we can get any answers out of him. If he is hiding anything, he'll talk, it's as easy as that."

"So when do we give it to him?" Duncan asked.

"At a time when he's probably 'out of it'. If we try and give it to him when he's alert, we might not be able to get anywhere near him," Amanda said.

"That's no problem, he's always out of it these days," Richie said.

"Too true...I think I'll wait about an hour, and see if I get anywhere," Amanda said.

"Why?"

"I've never done this with anyone I knew personally and liked, I'm a bit worried about the outcome."

"That truth serum won't have any side effects on him will it?" Amber asked.

"No, but I better warn you, after it takes effect, he may announce regretting even knowing any of us," Amanda said.

"That's what we're hoping for, let's give it a try," Richie said.

Amanda took a suitcase out of her closet and put it on the bed, she opened one section and took out several syringes and needles.

"Do you use that stuff often or something?" Richie asked.

"No, actually this is Methos' bag, but since he hasn't had to work with any seriously wounded mortals, he hasn't needed it, so he hasn't missed it, and since he hasn't missed it..."

"He wouldn't notice it missing," Richie added, "I get it."

"Good."

Methos looked out his window and gazed at the surroundings; homes, people, mainly water from a far view. At first, he enjoyed watching the real-life Punching Judy act over on the next street, but it didn't take his mind off anything.

How am I supposed to carry this for the rest of my life? he thought, My God, the rest of my life could be for an eternity, I'll go crazy if I go that long knowing the truth.

Methos rested his head on the windowsill, how had he gotten himself into this mess? How? How did anyone even find this out? How **_could_** they find out? And who could for that matter? Methos shook his head before he headed back to his bed.

It would be easier if Immortality didn't exist, he thought, it would be easier if **_I _**didn't exist. I never would've had to find out, and nobody would have to know.

He sat up in bed and laughed at himself, nobody has to know now, he thought.

Who in the bloody hell am I kidding? I owe it to them to tell them.

Methos grunted and fell back against the bed, No! he thought, I don't owe them that. They'd never understand, hell, I hardly understand. No! I don't need to tell them, I'll just keep it to myself, he thought as he rolled over on the bed.

And drive myself to the point of insanity because of it too, he thought.

Methos had enough of this debating with himself, he decided to do what he should've done long ago. He got off the bed and went over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He took out a bottle of sleeping pills and headed into the bathroom.

After swallowing 40 pills, Methos went back over to his bed and climbed into it and pulled the sheets up, he tossed and turned a few times before he finally got himself comfortable, right before he died.

"Something's wrong," Amanda realized.

"What?" Duncan asked.

"Something happened!"

Amanda ran upstairs to Methos' room and expected the door to be locked, but soon found it wasn't. She rushed in and saw Methos lying in his bed, dead as a doornail.

"Amanda, what is it?" Duncan asked as he followed behind Amanda.

"MacLeod!" she called.

Duncan charged in through the doorway and stood at her side.

"MacLeod, what...what..."

Richie and Amber followed in behind them.

"Oh boy," Amber said.

"What happened?" Amanda asked.

Richie went over to the bed and pulled back the covers, "well, it wasn't anything violent."

Amber headed into the bathroom and came back out carrying the empty bottle, "Well, this should explain it. EZ sleep, take 2 pills a night, dated for use from August 31st to October 1st, do not exceed past recommended dosage," Amber read, "what the hell did he kill himself for?"

"I don't know," Duncan said.

"Amber, I think it would be best if you two left," Amanda said.

Amber put the bottle on the table and grabbed Richie's arm to lead him out of the room, "Come on, Richie, let's let Mac and Amanda figure this one out."

Richie and Amber left and closed the door on their way out.

"I don't believe this, why would he do this?" Amanda asked.

"I don't know...how many pills do you think he took?"

"It sounds like there were originally 60 pills so...I don't know, I guess anywhere between 5 and the whole damn bottle," Amanda replied, "what's it matter?"

"However many he had in his system will delay him from reviving that much longer," Duncan said.

"Mac, this isn't funny anymore, Methos does have something wrong with him, but what is it? And what could be so bad that it would drive him to the point of temporary suicide?"

"Now that's something that only Methos would know," Duncan said, "we're just going to have to wait and see if he's willing to talk when he comes back."

"Allright, look, you go and hold down the fort with those two psychopaths, I'll stay here for when he revives."

"You know what, Amanda?"

"What?"

"I'm beginning to see how lucky I am to have married you. You're willing to help when needed."

"Methos is a good friend, to both of us, I have to look after him when it's called for."

Methos shot up in bed and drew in a struggled gasp for air, after figuring out where he was, he turned to the side and saw Amanda was lying on the bed next to him.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Amanda...what?"

"What happened Methos?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The pill bottle, the empty pill bottle, the one that had 60 pills in it. What happened?"

"Amanda...I...I can't really explain what's going on."

"Fine, don't explain it to me, just tell me what's going on so I can help," she said as she sat up.

"I wish it were that simple Amanda, really...but I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't risk getting anyone involved in it."

"What?"

"I can't say, believe me, if I could...I just can't get anyone else involved."

"Methos, you know we only want to help you."

"I know..."

"So why won't you tell us?"

"Amanda, please...I just can't say...you have to believe me."

"I wish I could."

Methos turned back over and looked away. How was he going to get himself out of this?

"Methos?"

"What?" he asked.

He felt a mild sting in his arm, he turned back over and saw Amanda holding a syringe in her hand.

"Amanda! What're you doing!?" he asked.

"Shhhhhh..." Amanda said as she cupped Methos' chin in her hand.

Methos felt something happen to him, he was starting to feel weak, he wasn't sure what she'd stuck him with but he knew this wasn't going to be good.

"I'm just doing what's necessary."

"Amanda," Methos choked, "please..."

Amanda silenced Methos' begging with a short kiss, "Don't worry about a thing," she told him, seconds before he fell into a state of unconsciousness.


	3. chapter 3

"Wake up, Methos."

Methos slowly opened his eyes, everything was blurry and he mainly saw a figure in a white light. He didn't need 20/20 vision to know who it was.

"Amanda...what's going on?"

"How do you feel?"

"Tired..."

Methos felt Amanda gently stroke his head, he weakly smiled and groaned peacefully. As much as he enjoyed it, it just made him want to go back to sleep.

"Amanda, what did you do to me?" he asked, realizing that he couldn't hide the fear in his voice.

"Shhhhhh, it's allright...there's nothing to be scared of, I'm right here..."

"Who...who ever said I was scared?"

"Are you?"

"...a little," he shamefully replied.

"Methos, there's nothing to worry about, everything's going to be allright."

"Then why this?"

"I need to ask you a few questions, and I need the truth."

"Oh no," Methos quietly said.

"Methos, I need you to tell me what's wrong with you."

"I can't say."

"You can't tell me?"

"I can't tell anybody."

"Why not?"

"It's too great a risk."

"For whom?"

"For everybody."

"You mean us?"

"Yes."

"Is it about one of us?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"I can't explain."

"Why?"

"Protection."

"Protection? Protection for you, or for them?"

"Them."

"Is that why you're torturing yourself? To protect us?"

"Yes..."

Amanda let out an exasperated sigh, Methos didn't know what it was he said.

"Methos."

"Yes?"

"You're acting like an ass...but I guess I could understand, considering your situation."

Methos didn't reply and instead turned on his side. He felt Amanda's soft lips against his skin as she briefly kissed his temple, before he felt another sting in his arm.

Dammit, he thought, not again.

"Sweet dreams, Methos," he heard before he gave into the temptation to sleep.

"What do you have?" Amber asked.

"Nineteen," Richie said as he flipped over his cards.

"Twenty."

"Dammit."

Richie grabbed four more cards from the deck and flipped two over and laid the other two face down.

"Hit me," Amber said.

Richie flipped another card off the deck, "what've you got?"

"Eighteen, you?"

"Shotgun, erhhh...blackjack," Richie said.

"You must really miss Val. I can't believe her father is so damn pigheaded, what is she? 19?"

"She just turned 18."

"What the fuck ever...I'm saying, it's legal, she can do as she damn well pleases, so what's this guy's problem?"

"Oh I guess I never told you, he had another daughter who ran away at 17 to get married, ever since, she's just been his 'little girl'," Richie said.

"My dad never called me that...then again I was an only child," Amber said as she shuffled the cards.

"And my dads never called me that for a whole lot of other reasons," Richie laughed.

"They should've, I saw those pictures, you looked cute in those dresses," Amber snickered.

"Well, they never liked much of anything, and far be it for me to say that I was no exception," Richie said.

"I could never figure out why people would take in a kid if they didn't want them," Amber said.

"They wanted me, to clean the house, wash their clothes, do the dishes, keep my ass out of trouble, pretty much stay in my room for the rest of the day..."

"I guess I was lucky there, my parents always wanted me," Amber said.

"And all I remember was of my foster mom."

"Foster mom?"

"Yeah, Emily Ryan, she wasn't my real mom, just another foster parent."

"So you don't know if Ryan is your original last name?"

"Not really."

"Damn, that's a tough break."

"Yeah well...Mac told me the good thing about being someone like me is you get to decide who you are."

"How would he know?"

"Because I was the same," Duncan said.

"Really?" Amber asked as she twisted her neck around to face him.

"Yes, after I died for the first time, I was shunned by my own clan, it was explained to me that I was found as a baby and taken in shortly after the real baby of the MacLeod family had died."

"Amazing what family will reveal when they don't like you," Amber said as she dealt another set of cards, "So you never figured out who you were related to either?"

"No."

"What about Connor?"

"What about him what?" Duncan asked.

"Is he really a MacLeod?"

Duncan opened his mouth to answer and closed it again when Amanda came down the stairs.

"Well?" Amber asked.

"I don't get it," Amanda said as she put the bottle on the counter, "Methos must have some sort of allergic reaction or something to this stuff. I couldn't get anything out of him, and this is the most potent stuff I know of."

"Shit, so you mean we can't find out what he's hiding?" Richie asked.

"Afraid so."

"Dammit!" Amber exclaimed as she pounded her fist into the table.

"So what do we do now?" Richie asked.

"There's nothing we can do, we have to wait until he's willing to talk," Amanda said.

Duncan and Amanda went into the living room to talk, leaving Richie and Amber in the kitchen.

"Great, just great, this is the oldest living Immortal, and he won't crack," Richie said, "just great."

"Richie."

"What?"

"We're idiots, you know that?"

"What?"

"Methos has been telling me everything since 1995, he holds my secrets and vice versa, I'll see if I can get any answers out of that Welsh bobble-head," Amber said.

Amber headed upstairs and over to Methos' bedroom and let herself in, only to find him asleep.

"This again?" she asked.

She went over to Methos and started poking him and slapping him, "Methos, yoo-hoo COME ON METHOS! Methos! Methos!"

She realized that it was having no effect on him, in fact she just realized that he wasn't even moving at all aside from breathing.

"Damn, you're really out of it, aren't you?"

Amber looked on at the sleeping figure on the bed. For the past several days he always looked worried, tense, or overall troubled. This was the first time she'd seen him look peaceful in all that time.

Whatever's wrong with you, she thought, it must be something damn awful if sedation is your only peace from it.

Amber slowly and calmly made her way down the stairs and back to the kitchen, "Amanda..."

"What is it?" Amanda asked as she came in the kitchen doorway.

"Did you sedate Methos?"

"What?" Duncan asked.

"He's up there asleep again, I tried talking to him, I poked him, I hit him, I even tried holding his nose till he turned purple, nothing..."

"It's that serum I gave him," Amanda said, "it normally makes the victim conk out for a little while, then when they come to they can't see very well, then after you manage to get the truth of out them, it usually wears off, but Methos, it just put him to sleep. I can't explain it."

"How long do you reckon he'll be out?" Amber asked.

"I don't know, I've never seen this happen before."

"Oh Amber of course he will. If he can survive eating peacock brains and honey coated ants...and then barfing it up...then he can survive this," Amanda said.

"I hope so, 5,000 years the man's a walking history book, it'd be a shame if he went out now."

"Well," Amanda said, "while we wait for Rip Van Winkle to wake up, I think I'll get started on dinner."

"What're you cooking?" Amber asked.

"Spaghetti and meatballs."

"I'll go get your red shirt, Richie."

"Give me a break, I have better table manners than that."

"Who said anything about your table manners? The way Amanda cooks Italian the sauce turns to slime and just sliiiiides off the pasta and down the fork," Amber said.

"Amber," Amanda said.

"And then the wine...no offense Richie but your drooling problem when you drink, is worse than the one I have when I sleep, and let's face it, that's one of the main reasons we don't sleep together anymore," Amber added.

"Amber."

"Of course, if we ever actually plan on "sleeping together", then I guess it would come in handy because they say without lube it can be quite an unpleasant experience. Of course, after being done by the man I was, you see any experience of sex as unpleasant."

"Amber!"

"What?"

"Will you stop? I'm the cook and even I've lost my appetite."

"Good, can you take the hint?"

"Yes, yes, we won't have pasta tonight, you win," Amanda said.

"Hallelujah," Amber said, "now, you figure out what we're having instead, and I'll keep an eye on the slumbering Welsh pinhead."

"Are you sure? He could be out for a while," Amanda told her.

"Hey, out of all of us he's used to waking up and facing me, one of you tried it he'd probably get scared out of his wits."

"What?" Joe asked over the phone from his bar back in Seacouver, "What are you talking about?"

"You heard me," Duncan said, "he's hardly left his room, he always seems lethargic and when we tried getting some answers from him using a truth serum, it just put him to sleep. I think he may be sick, Joe."

"That's impossible, Immortals don't get sick and you damn well know it."

"I don't know anything anymore!" Duncan protested, "Dammit Joe, you've seen what's gone on in the last couple years, you know nothing's like it was. I don't know, maybe he is sick, maybe not, maybe he's keeping something from us, I don't know, and another thing I don't know is how to help him!"

"Okay Mac, just calm down, if you keep that up you'll change something else in the basics of Immortals and give yourself a coronary," Joe said.

"I don't know what's going on, Joe, Methos is usually the one who's butting into my business, trying to help me, even when I don't need it. Now I need to help him and he won't let me..."

"He's like that, Mac...you know Methos well enough by now to know he's a private pain in the ass..."

"Joe, this isn't funny...if you saw him, you'd know that."

"Allright, allright, now just calm down and tell me, what condition is he currently in?"

"Sedated."

"Allright, I'll hope on the first plane heading to Tampa and be there by tomorrow...keep an eye on him until then," Joe said.

"That's what we've been doing."

"Good...I should be out of here in a couple of hours, goodbye Mac."

"Yeah."

Duncan hung up and headed back into the kitchen. Joe hung up his phone and thought, "Yeah? That guy's been hanging around those damn kids too long."


	4. chapter 4

Methos woke to the gentle sensation of someone stroking his head, he slowly opened his eyes and saw Amber hovering over him.

"What's going on, kid?" he asked.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up, are you feeling allright?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Good."

Amber got off the bed and picked up a tray from the trunk and put it over his lap and removed the lid.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Dinner...you gotta eat...otherwise your ribs still stick out more than they do already."

Methos glanced down at the meal consisting of baked potatoes smothered in butter, mixed together with the pork chop, and lima beans full of salt.

"Yeck," he said.

"I know, what Amanda cooks is nothing spectacular, but either you eat it or I'll feed it to you myself," she said.

"Is that a threat?" Methos asked as he folded his arms into his chest.

"One way or another you're going to eat...I'm tired of having you act like you're practically dead, and so is everyone else."

Methos said nothing in response and looked the other way.

"Fine, you want to act like a baby I'll treat ya like one."

Amber picked up the fork and scooped up some beans in it and brought the fork up to his mouth. He resisted a couple of times but he finally agreed to cooperate, he forced his mouth open and bit down on the fork.

"You know, I had an uncle whose roommate was a piano tuner. It had its ups and downs though, one day during lunch my uncle grabbed his tuning fork, and he used it for lunch. His jaw vibrated for a month," Amber said.

After he swallowed the food, Amber stuck the fork into the potatoes and brought it up to his mouth again, but he jerked the fork away from her and fed himself.

"Methos, what's wrong with you?" Amber asked.

Methos turned and gazed at her with an opposed look in his eyes.

"I don't mean to be offensive or anything, I just mean, why can't you tell us what's going on?" Amber asked.

"Believe me kid, if I could, I'd tell you, but I can't."

"So we're getting somewhere," Amber said, "you're finally admitting you have a problem."

Methos cursed himself for his error, how had he let that slip from his mind?

"Look," he said.

"No, you look, I don't care if you don't want to tell me, I don't care if you never tell me, but tell someone so they can help you," Amber said.

If only it were that easy, he thought.

He wished it were that easy, he would be glad to get the weight off his chest. Unfortunately, he knew that that wasn't an option.

"Methos."

"Huh?" he asked, returning to reality.

"Do you remember the day you met Mac?"

"Yeah, March 6th, 1995...Kalas was looking for me, he figured if he took my head he could defeat MacLeod, probably would've to..."

"Except you got away."

"And offered my head to MacLeod."

"But he didn't take it...apparently didn't need it either...what about Richie? Remember the day you met him?"

"Yep, he knew me as Adam Pierson, I knew him as the next victim on Kristen's list. Was about a year before he found out who I really was."

"And do you remember the day we met?"

"Yep, June 25th, 1995...you got acquainted with me that day and haven't shut up since."

"What about Amanda? Do you remember meeting her?"

"Yes, and through time I've grown quite fond of the vixen."

"How about the Watchers? Do you remember joining the Watchers?"

"Of course, you have a needle dig into your wrist to permanently scar you and ask me if you forget."

"And Kronos? You remember him?"

There was a minute of hesitation, but Methos finally answered, "Yes, I remember...a day I regret and shall for the rest of my life, should I live to see it."

"So it's safe to say your mental health is fine..."

"I suppose."

"Good, nice to know this isn't a mental thing."

"What do you mean mental?" Methos asked.

"This problem of yours, whatever it is it's something serious, and since it's nothing mental, there's a damn good chance that we can help you, but only if you tell us what's going on," Amber told him.

"I don't have a problem, kid," Methos said.

"No? For the past two weeks you've been acting like a manic-depressive during the 'down' stage. The only time you're out of your room, let alone out of your bed, is when you're at work. When you get home, you grade papers and then you immediately go to bed. You've hardly said anything to any of us regarding anything at all. You don't insult people, you don't talk with your time-out worldly charm and knowledge. Now today you down a bottle of sleeping pills and are dead for half the afternoon, if that doesn't say you have a problem, I don't know what does."

Methos didn't answer, he looked down and never raised his eyes to make contact with hers.

"I don't know what's wrong Methos, why can't you tell us? It's not like we're your enemy, it's not like it's your true identity being revealed to the Watchers, hell, it's not like Kronos finding out exactly WHY you let Cassandra escape when you did. What is it? What could be so horrible that you can't tell the people who care about you and are worried sick over you?" Amber asked.

Methos kept his head lowered and stared down, never moving a muscle, not saying a word.

"It's not like we don't care about you Methos," she said, "Methos," she repeated, attempting to get his attention, "ever since you first acted weird we have waited on you, worried about you, tried to help you. You have the four of us trying to get through to you so we can help you with whatever it is that's wrong. If that doesn't say we're not your enemies then what does?"

Methos raised his hand and ran the back of it across his eyes, Amber knew he was just avoiding making eye contact.

"I don't get it Methos, you can continue acting like this, you can go on for the rest of your life not telling us what's wrong, but we're not going to give up on you, you have a problem and we need to know what it is so we can help."

Amber looked down at Methos and realized he'd fallen asleep again.

"So this is your escape from your problem?" she sighed.

Amber removed the tray and brought the covers up to Methos' chest, turned off the lights and closed the door on her way out.

"Could you get him to talk?" Amanda asked.

"Well, he's finally admitting that he has a problem, it's nothing mental that's for damn sure, his brain is fine...just when I thought I was getting somewhere with him, he fell asleep," Amber said.

"That's terrible," Amanda said.

"I know."

"Allright," Duncan said, "Amber I think you've done enough to help for one night, why don't you just go on and do what you normally do?"

"Allright, come on Richie, let's go," Amber said.

Richie got up from his seat at the table and followed Amber into the living room.

"What're we going to do?" Amanda asked.

"I'm not sure there's anything we can do," Duncan said.

"What're you saying?"

"I'm saying I don't think he's going to tell us what's wrong," Duncan said.

"I don't get it, does he think that we can't help him? Or won't?"

"I wish I knew."

"I just don't get it, it's not like we're not willing to help, right now I'd do about anything to help him but...I just can't understand what could be so horrible that he won't tell us."

"I'm afraid I know," Duncan said.

"What?" Amanda asked.

"What if this is like Kronos and the Horsemen?"

"What?"

"He didn't tell me anything about them because he knew what I'd do, maybe it's something else from his past that he considers being right up there with Kronos and the Horsemen. My God, if that's it..."

"Then no wonder he won't tell us, he doesn't want **_you_** to find out," Amanda said.

"And if we're right, and that is it..."

"Then it'll probably be a cold day in hell before he talks."

"Do you think Methos will be okay?" Amber asked as she shuffled the cards.

"I don't know, are you sure you couldn't get anything more out of him?" Richie asked.

"I did most of the talking, I was trying to get his attention...dammit, I just can't figure out what's wrong with him...why won't he tell us?"

"Maybe it's a guy thing," Richie thought.

"What?"

"You know, guys let their pride get in the way of everything, maybe that's it with him...I don't know."

"You have a sick sense of humor, you know that Richie?"

"Well I don't know, what else could it be?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out."

Methos turned over on one side and woke up in the dark. His breath quickened and his heart started pounding hard against his chest when he saw a large Immortal hovering over him

Oh God, not again, he thought.

Methos tried to move but the Immortal grabbed his shoulder and pinned him against the bed. Methos thought he was having a heart attack, he recognized that grip anywhere, but it couldn't be possible. The Immortal got up and walked over to the wall and Methos dreaded having to meet that oh-so familiar and not-so favorite face. The lights came on and Methos in an instant was panicked, and relieved when he saw it was only Duncan.

"Methos, are you okay?" he asked as he headed back over to the bed.

Methos' breathing turned to gasping and had become hyperventilation. Duncan held Methos to prop him up in bed and the second he touched him, Methos went rigid right in his arms.

"Methos, it's okay, it's me."

However, Methos seemed not to be listening as he continued gasping for air.

"Calm down, Methos, calm down!" Duncan said as he tightened his grip on Methos, "Take it easy...take it easy...it's just me...calm down, Methos," Duncan's words seemed to sooth Methos as he slowed down his breathing, "that's it...nice and slow...easy, easy...that's good, Methos...just relax...I'm not going to hurt you," he said in an assuring tone.

Methos' breathing returned to normal bit by bit, just as he seemed to be calmed down again, he drew in a large breath of air and lowered his head on Duncan's shoulder. Duncan was startled by it, but he was more concerned when he felt moisture on his shoulder. He put his hands on Methos' ribs and held him back from him and saw the tears run down his face.

"Methos, what's wrong?"

The only thing he heard in response was Methos' pitiful cries and his strangulated voice as he said Duncan's name. Duncan loosened his grip on him a bit and placed Methos' head in the crook of his arm and sat with Methos until he had calmed down. By then, Duncan was lying in bed with Methos on top of him and with his head buried in Duncan's chest.

"Don't say it, MacLeod," Methos quietly said.

"Hmm?"

"Don't say it," Methos repeated as he sat up, "just...don't say it, please..."

"Say what?" Duncan asked.

"What's wrong with me? What's my problem? Why can't I tell anybody? Don't say it, MacLeod, please, I've put up with it enough times already," Methos said.

"Allright, then I won't, I'm just going to say something," Duncan said.

"That being?" Methos asked.

"Whatever is wrong, when you decide to inform us on what it is, we'll be ready," Duncan said.

"Fine, now leave."

"Allright."

"I said...what?"

"Allright, you don't want me to help, fine, I know when I'm not wanted, I can take a hint," Duncan said as he got up.

"Good."

Duncan left and Methos lay back on his bed, I feel like an ass he thought.

"I felt like an ass Amanda, I didn't know how to help him, I still don't...I don't know what I'm going to do," Duncan said.

"I say we wait until Joe gets here, what's the worst he could do until then? You said yourself no one's ever beheaded themselves before," Amanda said.

"Yeah but...oh well, never mind...I guess you're right," Duncan said.

"Okay, now that that's settled, let Methos rest for the night, and it wouldn't hurt you to do the same," Amanda said.

"Huh?"

"Rest, Duncan...you haven't rested in two days," Amanda said.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course, besides, all Methos has done in the last two days is pretty much sleep, so what's he going to do?"

"What's everyone talking about?" Amber asked as she and Richie entered the room.

"We're not going to bother with Methos until tomorrow. By then Joe will be here and maybe then he can help," Amanda said.

"I hope so, he doesn't seem to be doing so well," Amber said.

"Well, just leave him alone for the night," Amanda said.

"Okay, but I don't think this problem he's got is something that we can ignore for much longer," Amber said.


	5. chapter 5

There was a knock at the door at 6:30 the next morning.

"Joe, when'd you get here?" Duncan asked.

"Around an hour ago, I had to get on the next flight heading out to Miami and then there was a severe storm and the traffic was blocked on the way over and...I don't know...so how's the patient?"

"Heavily sedated it would seem," Amanda said.

"Where is he?" Joe asked.

"Upstairs, but I don't think he's going to wake up soon," Duncan said.

"Is he allright?"

"Aside from his problem that's lasted for two weeks, yeah he's great," Amanda said.

"Which room?" Joe asked.

"I'll show you," Duncan said.

"_Methos...Methos...hey you old goat, can you hear me?"_

Methos opened his eyes and saw Joe standing over him.

"What do you want?" Methos groaned.

Methos grunted and rolled over and went back to sleep, until Joe poked him with his cane.

"Ah!" Methos groaned, "Joe what the bloody hell do you want?"

Joe snagged Methos with the hook of his cane and brought him up in the bed so he could look him in the eyes, "I want to know what the hell is wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong with me," Methos told him.

"If there's nothing wrong with you then why have you been spending the majority of the last two weeks in bed?"

"Can't a person be allowed to rest without there being a problem?"

"Not for two weeks Methos!"

"Look Joe."

Joe swung his cane around, resting the end of it just a few inches away from Methos' nose, "Now you look, I don't know what the hell's gotten into you but you better come off it before you make matters worse for yourself. Got it?"

"The only thing I get is that I'm stuck in a room with an ass. Now leave!"

Joe brought his cane up and hit Methos over the head with it.

"You think it'll do any good having Joe talk to him?" Amber asked Richie.

"Could be, he knew Methos before any of us did," Richie said.

"But he knew him as Adam Pierson for the most of it."

"So did I, what's your point?"

"I don't know..."

"What're you two doing?" Duncan asked.

"Waiting to see if Joe can do anything with Methos," Richie said.

"Do you think he can?" Amber asked.

"It's a possibility."

The door to Methos' bedroom opened and Joe came out shaking his head.

"Well?" Richie asked.

"How is he?" Amber asked.

"You couldn't crack this nut with a sledge hammer, I don't know what to do, Mac, he won't cooperate, he won't listen, half the time it's like he's not even there," Joe said.

"Shit," Amber said.

"Well thanks for trying anyway," Duncan said, "you don't have to go back to Seacouver anytime soon do you?"

"Na, not for a few days, why? You want me to stay?" Joe asked.

"Why the hell not? We've had just about everyone else come through this house," Amber said.

"Amber that's enough," Amanda said.

"Oh? The hot-blooded bitch Cassandra and the dozen classmates from the dorm, and Yvonne's second cousins with their baby and that Watcher from the funeral parlor we had stay here over the past five months weren't enough for your taste?" Amber asked.

"Enough!" Amanda said, "Joe did you bring any luggage with you?"

"Nothing I haven't already brought in," Joe said.

"Allright, come on Joe we'll get you settled in the guest room," Richie said.

"What guest room? I can stay on the couch."

"Never a guest in our home," Amanda said.

"Too true," Amber mumbled, "as many guests we've had stay here sometimes we've ended up sleeping on top of each other...Joe!"

"Yeah?"

"Was Methos awake when you left his room?"

"Hard to say, it looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open."

"Come on Joe, let's get you settled into your room."

Duncan and Joe headed downstairs, leaving Amanda, Richie and Amber alone upstairs.

"Just leave him alone for a while," Amanda said, "maybe if we stop coddling him he'll do something."

"_Do_ something, like what exactly?" Richie asked, "Build a sailboat on the roof?"

"Maybe he'll come out of his bedroom for starters," Amanda said.

"If you think it'll help him," Amber said.

"We need to stop babying him and waiting for him to tell us what's wrong. If we leave him alone, he won't feel smothered by us and maybe he'll talk."

"Just as well I suppose," Amber said.

"Of course."

"This can't be...this is impossible," Methos said, "you're supposed to be dead!"

"Yes well, when was I ever what I should have been? You think people expected me to become what I did? What we were? You think people expected that of us? No. They had no expectations of us, what we would become, what we would do. For three years all of that was buried and forgotten. For three years I WAS dead, but now, I'm back. I must say, Brother, I'm surprised at you. Did you really think that the confinements of **_HELL_** could hold me?"

"Why are you back? For what reason?"

"You betrayed me, Brother, one time too many...Because of that, we have an old debt to settle. You and MacLeod took many things away from me...Life...Silas and Caspian, everything that I spent 2,000 years putting together...now in return, I'm taking away the one thing that's so precious and damn important in your life, aside from your head that is."

Methos was frozen in horror as he helplessly watched Kronos behead the Immortal beside them.

Amber shot up in bed when she heard it.

She was struggling to catch her breath, she couldn't place the noise that awoke her, but then she heard it again. It was someone in the bathroom. Amber looked over at Richie, he was still asleep, he didn't even seem to be disturbed in the least by the noise.

"Richie..." she said as she looked over at him, "Richie..."

Richie was still asleep, practically dead to the world. Amber slipped out of bed and headed over to him to wake him up when she heard it again. She went into the hall, and she heard the all too familiar sounds of someone gagging. She knew Duncan had a stronger stomach than that, leaving her with just one man. Taking that into consideration, she opened the door to Methos' bedroom and slipped in without making a sound. His bed was empty, but apparently had been slept in, the room was dark, and the noise came from beyond the next door. Amber walked in and what she saw horrified her. Methos was crying, leaning against the sink with his head barely over the counter as he vomited bloody mucus again, before he fell on the floor from exhaustion.

Amber helped him up just in time for him to be sick again, but this wasn't the noise that had disturbed her. She'd heard him call out a name, Kronos. Well after hearing about the old days and the Horsemen, Amber knew the thought of Kronos was enough to make anyone sick, but not particularly like this...especially not Methos, he put the Horsemen behind him. Amber held the limp figure in her arms as he leaned against her body and slid to the cool floor, slowly. Amber heard his pitiful cries and realized he'd been doing it for some time. Amber helped him down onto the floor, and realized he was flushed and covered in sweat. She removed his boots, and then his sweater, leaving him in a T-shirt and jeans. She saw that it was a pitiful sight, him sick as a dog, and looking vulnerable as a child.

My God, what must he be thinking? What must be going through his mind now? she thought.

Propping Methos' head against the tub, Amber turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on his face and chest. Amber soaked a washcloth in the icy water and as she held Methos close to her from behind, she held the cloth to Methos' forehead as he pitifully writhed in her grasp.

Looks like we'll finally be getting that answer we were waiting for, she thought.

Methos slowly became conscious as he felt a breeze sweep over his body, and he felt the body-heat of a woman behind him.

"Amanda, you tramp," he laughed to himself.

Methos felt at the figure behind him and awoke altogether when he felt an all too familiar breast, that certainly didn't belong to Amanda. His eyes opened automatically and looked behind him. He let out an inhuman scream as he got on his feet and backed up. Amber slowly came around and saw that her friend was up and seemed well.

"Methos, what's going on?" she asked drowsily.

"That's what I'd like to know!" he said, "Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Yeah, sure..."

"What?!"

"You were sick and crying, I came in here, you were throwing up blood in the sink, you were burning up so I.........sounds stupid once you take it all into consideration," Amber said, "I was just worried about you."

"It wasn't necessary."

"Maybe not, but I thought it was," Amber said, "...Methos."

"What?"

"Isn't Kronos dead?"

"What?"

"Isn't Kronos dead?" Amber repeated.

"Yes, why?"

"You were calling him last night when you were sick, my guess would be delirium, but nonetheless, why would you be calling a thing like that if he's as horrible as you say?" Amber asked.

"I...it was a nightmare, a bloody nightmare...Kronos...he...made his way back from hell, he was standing right before me, looking me in the face and laughing," Methos said as he paced back and forth.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, he was right in front of me, and he threatened to take away something that...until recently, I didn't know was even possible."

"What was it?"

It was night when Duncan came home and closed the door behind him, to see Amber and Methos in the living room, having drunk an entire bottle of scotch and a few beers. Methos sat on the couch, completely motionless, whereas Amber lay on his lap, looking as if she'd been crying for a long time.

"What's going on here?" Duncan asked, "Amber, are you allright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied. She added, "I better be going", and headed upstairs.

"Methos, what's wrong with her?" Duncan asked.

"Same thing that's wrong with me, only you can see it," Methos said.

"What happened?" Duncan asked as he plopped down on the couch beside him.

"MacLeod, there is something I have to tell you, something that even I still cannot believe, but...here it goes..."

"Wait a minute, is this the same thing that you've been keeping from us for two weeks?"

"Actually it's been longer than that, but yes..."

"RICHIE!"

Amber stormed into the bedroom to see Richie sitting on his bed, polishing a knife, "Amber, what's the matter? Are you allright?"

"Richie, I have to ask you a question," Amber said, "Remember when you said that Emily Ryan who you knew until you were four when she died, was your foster mother and you never knew who you were really related to?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, Richie, I got some news for you, and it ain't easy, even for me to tell," Amber said.

"What is it?" Richie asked.

"You know how Methos has been acting weird for the last couple of weeks?" Amber asked.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well actually it's been going on with him for a few months, it started when he was in Bora Bora, he received some papers from someone, including a long family tree. His family tree, and it has something in it that you won't believe."

"What?"

"It shows that he had a cousin who was the black sheep of the family then and about 4,960 years ago was supposed to have been stoned to death in a battle, but he survived. So he waited until everybody was gone, and he disappeared into a new town, going under a new name, met a woman, got married, had kids. And the members of that family kept getting passed down from generation to generation, now skip ahead a few thousand years. A member of that part of his family in 1969 married a woman who was in the Ryan family. The same Ryan family that you are a part of."

"WHAT!?" Richie asked in complete disbelief, "Amber that's not possible. Emily Ryan was my foster mother."

"She was your aunt, Richie...she was the black sheep of the Ryan family so when she was a teenager, her father kicked her out and she started a whole new life, got a whole new identity, moved to another town where she passed herself off as being a distant member of the Ryan family who there was best known for two things, good cooking, and having more family members than they knew about. Anyway, your mother conceived you at a relatively young age; anyway, she and Emily had a bond that they kept with them even after Emily left. So around the beginning of her third trimester, she called up Emily, asked her to come up and see the both of you. The doctors told her that there might be some problems delivering you, and she told Emily that should anything happen to her, she wanted her to become your legal guardian. Unfortunately you came early and she didn't have time to make out her will. So by the time Emily got here, your mother had just enough time to explain that you would be leaving with her. So she took you back to Seacouver with her after a background check was done. When that happened they could only go by the new life she'd been leading, rather than the life she led in the Ryan family that despised her. So that's why she got the checks for taking care of you."

"Amber, even if I did believe this, it still doesn't make sense, she was married to Jack Ryan."

"I know, she met him and was very stubborn about keeping her name so when they got married, he changed his name, making him Jack Ryan...unfortunately he was too much like many other fathers and husbands and just couldn't handle the idea of being responsible for anymore people...but the point is Richie, you don't have to continue wondering who you're related to, now you know."

"You're telling me that I'm related to a man who you yourself described to be a Welsh fruitcake with a hook nose?" Richie asked.

"I know it sounds impossible Richie, but it's true, I saw the records for myself, the family tree, the birth certificates, the death certificates, there're even pictures of them. Richie, you can finally see what your real mother looked like, and your foster one as well. Now, we can't figure out who sent these documents to Methos, but it was addressed to Adam Pierson, turns out whoever did it believed that as time went by, his family's name changed from whatever it was then to Pierson. But ain't it great, Richie? Now you know who your family is."

"Oh my God," Richie laughed, "Oh—my—God...I don't believe this...I'm actually related to that thing?"

"Yeah, crazy ain't it?" Amber asked.

"Oh well I can only think of one thing to say," Richie said.

"What?" Amber asked as she walked over to him.

Richie hit Amber and it knocked her on the floor. She looked up and saw him hovering over her, with a glare in his eyes and looked pure evil.

"You know Amber, I've heard you tell some sick jokes before, all of which I was willing to overlook, until now. You have the gall to come in here and make up a story like that? Amber what the hell is the matter with you?" he asked.

"But Richie, it's true, I've seen the documents with my own eyes, if you want I'll show them to you."

"Amber, enough, I am not related to Methos, I can't be."

"Oh? Well then explain last night when Methos was haunted by a vision of Kronos making his way out of hell, and dragging down with him the last relative he has on this earth, who isn't buried by now. Explain that," Amber said.

"Bad Italian food, and potent liquor," Richie said.

"Richie!" Amber said, "I know it's a hard idea to grasp, but think of it this way, you're still you, still the person that you were, nothing's changed about that, it's just that now you know you're related to the most annoying man on the planet."

"Amber...enough, stop with the jokes will you?"

"Richie, whether you want to admit it or not, he's your cousin, possibly the only relative you have left, so I'd enjoy him if I were you," Amber said as she got back up.

"He can't be, he's a Welsh pinhead, I'm...okay so I don't know what I am, but I'm not English," Richie said.

"You don't understand, he was a cousin by marriage, the family never did like him...but still, there is a part of him in you, and you have to realize that," Amber said.

"And suppose I don't?"

"Then you're shutting out of your life the only living relative you may have left in this world," Amber said, "you've wondered for so long who your family is, now you know."

"Amber, enough already! I'm not taking anymore of this demented joke of yours!" Richie said.

"It's no joke Richie," Methos said as he walked in, "it's true."

"It can't be."

"It is, trust me."

"Trust you?"

"Richie, when I first found out, I couldn't believe it either, that's why I was gone so long. I wasn't sure I could stand coming back here and seeing you again, or anyone for that matter. MacLeod's seen you as his family for so long, we all know that...I wasn't sure what would happen if I came back."

"Then why did you?"

"To look after my family."

Richie stood in the middle of the room completely motionless, he was hardly even breathing. Methos went over to him and placed his hands on Richie's shoulders so he could look him in the eyes.

"Richie, you have to breathe, you're turning purple and I'm don't mean that as a compliment," Methos said.

Richie drew in a large breath before he nearly collapsed in Methos' arms as he cried. Methos held Richie closer to him and stroked his head, as he silently took pity on him, now going through the same raw feeling of being torn apart as he had. Amber went over to Richie and placed her hand on his shoulder, before he turned around and grabbed her, pressing down on her neck. Methos had to pull him off of her and held him tighter so he wouldn't break away. Amber ran out of the room and ran into Duncan and Amanda downstairs.

"Mac, I think you should know something," she gasped.

"I already told him," Amanda said.

"You? When did Methos tell you?" Amber asked.

"Yesterday," Amanda said.

"How's Richie taking it?" Duncan asked.

"Well...first he didn't believe me, then he hit me, then he was crying, and then he tried choking me...then I ran down here so I can't tell you anymore than that," Amber said.

"He'll get over it," Duncan said.

"What?" Amber asked.

"I didn't mean that, I meant he'll get over the shock. It's always the worst."

"How would you know? You never even knew your real family," Amber said.

Duncan and Amanda looked at her with an icy glare.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it, but how would you know about shock?" Amber asked.

"When you live as long as I have, you encounter quite a bit of shock," Duncan said.

"So, speaking of shock...how are you taking this?" Amber asked.

"Huh?"

"Come off it, Duncan, everybody's known for years you think of Richie as your own son, now you find out that he's related to Methos, that's not something that you instantly accept," Amber said.

"I wasn't pleased with it at first," Duncan said.

"Well how do you think Methos felt? That's why he stayed out of the country so long, that's why he didn't come home. He wasn't sure he could stand to face Richie after finding this out. That explains everything, that's why he's been acting weird. He's known about this for several months, and these last two weeks have been the worst. That's why he hasn't been his regular self around him. He wasn't the regular old cynic that we know. Then last night, he dreams of Kronos breaking out of hell to take back with him the only living relative he has...how do you think he feels about all this?" Amber asked.

"I didn't know..."

"You wouldn't. He didn't want anyone to know, the reason I found out was because it'd made him sick, delirious, throwing up blood...if you think it's a shock to you, just try putting yourself in his place," Amber told him.

"I know, I know this is the worst on him."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Then get off his damn back, that's why he didn't want to tell anyone. He figured so long as he didn't tell anyone, no one would have to know, you wouldn't have to get your parental pride bruised, Richie wouldn't be pissed off at being related to a man who runs every time danger conjures up. He tried to protect you from the truth and he could've but he would've lost his marbles before someone took his head. Frankly, I'm glad he finally confessed, that's right, damn happy about it," Amber said.

"You're serious? This doesn't bother you?" Amanda asked.

"Not a chance in hell...it makes more sense to me that they ARE related. Speaking of which, I better get back to those two baboons before they kill each other."

Amber headed back up the stairs and now headed over to Methos' room and closed the door behind her, and she was surprised to see both of them still alive. Methos was propped up against the headboard of his bed, whereas Richie was on the floor on his knees with his upper body resting at the foot of the bed.

"Well, how's it going?" Amber asked.

Richie lifted his head and stood up and turned around to face her, his face stained with tears. "How do you think it's going? I go all my life, wondering who my family is, if I have any living relatives. Then I find out I'm related to THAT thing!" Richie pointed to Methos, who seemed unaffected by his comments. "Someone who runs every time danger strikes...how...how can I be expected to grasp this as reality, my remaining family? How?"

"Richie, take it easy, you're just getting yourself upset," Methos said.

"And what about you?" Richie turned around, "You mean to tell me that this doesn't affect you in any way? Well I guess not. You can't be depended on to stay in one place for two minutes, how can I depend on you to stay here now?"

From Amber's point of view, it looked as if he meant to attack Methos at any minute, so she jumped on him from behind and wrestled him to the ground, after a few minutes, Methos intervened and told Amber to get off Richie. He'd already been hurt enough for one night. Having a bloody nose and torn lip didn't help much either, Immortal healing or not. It made Richie's face seem more pathetic than before. Remaining on his back, Richie wiped at his nose with the back of his hand and snorted. Methos hovered over him from on the bed and offered a hand to help him up. Richie, having his pride hurt more than the rest of him, accepted the lift up.

"And how are you taking this?" she asked Methos.

"Better than expected I suppose, although the kid on the other hand I'm not so sure about."

They both looked over at Richie who was lying on the bed with his hand clamped over his nose, his breathing was rapid and he looked exhausted.

"Hey Richie..."

"Whud iz it, Ambur?" he asked.

"You think you'd rather sleep here with Methos tonight?"

"What?!" Richie asked. He jumped off the bed and started towards her, "Amber are you crazy?"

"Don't get yourself so excited, your nasal membrane," Amber smirked and pointed to his bloody nose, "I mean...well let's face it, this is obviously a shock to you, and...I don't know, I guess if it were me I'd want to get to know the bum more...besides, as you are now you're probably still bound to try and kill him, so it'd be easier to watch both of you from the same room."

"So what're you saying?" Richie asked, "that it's three of us to a bed now?"

"I suppose so...at least until we can get our lives somewhat back in order..."

"I hate to say it but she has a point," Methos said, "we're all pretty much in the same boat."

Richie said nothing and sat at the foot of the bed, Methos faced him and said, "I'm sorry kid, if I change what happened I would...but I can't...I can't help who you're related to anymore than you can...I thought you'd be happy to at least know someone you're related to."

"I guess I am, but I...I mean..."

"You spent so many years trying to figure it out, that once you found out Emily wasn't your real mother, you just gave up, and now this whole thing is just one major shock to your system," Amber said.

"Yeah," Richie sighed.

"Look on the bright side, you still got Mac, you got Amanda, you got me...you're not in this alone," Amber said, "most people don't have anyone who cares about them, related or not. You on the other hand have us, Joe, Connor...when you think about it that way, you're blessed."

"When you think about it my way, you'd be better off going to the garage and hanging yourself," Richie said.

"My point is, we're all here for you," Amber told him.

"I'd like to believe that," Richie said.

"Well stop trying and get into bed," Methos said, "I haven't been able to get any rest for over a month, I'm exhausted."

"But..." Richie said.

"Don't argue with the man, you heard him, get into bed, I think we could all use some rest after today," Amber said.

"I guess you're right, I feel like crawling into bed and dying," Richie said.

"Well don't do that, brat," Methos smirked, "then we'd have no one in the family to torment."

"Fine, fine, Methos you take one end, Richie, you take the other end...me, I'll take the end in the middle," Amber said as they climbed into bed.

Methos turned off the light and after a few minutes of getting comfortable, the three of them finally fell asleep.

More or less, Richie was still awake in a sense, he had so much racing through his mind, the one thing that really got him was now, he was with family.

What do you know, mom? he thought, I'm part of the family again.

Richie grinned as he turned over and fell asleep, the next day he'd have to see those pictures of his mom, and his "aunt" Emily.

Something had awoken Duncan early the next day, he wasn't sure what it was, but it gave him a good idea of whom to check on. Once he got out in the hall, he realized there wasn't anybody in Richie's room, but there were three Immortals in Methos' room. Quietly slipping in, he saw a truly pitiful sight, Methos on the left side of the bed, Amber sprawled out in the middle and practically joined to Richie, who was out cold on the right and looked more peaceful asleep than he did awake.

Duncan, resisting the urge to guffaw at the sight, made his way around to Methos and lightly slapped his face to wake him up.

"What is it, MacLeod?" he asked.

Keeping his comment to himself, Duncan just grinned as he pulled on Methos' short hair, pulling him out of bed, and said, "come here," leading him into the bathroom.

"Would you care to explain what's going on?" Duncan asked.

"You suddenly go deaf, MacLeod?" Methos asked, "We had a long argument last night, it got late, we were exhausted, so we turned in..."

"In the same bed?!" Duncan asked.

"You make it sound as if it's the Dollanganger children," Methos said.

"Methos, I just...I just can't figure out how someone like you could be related to..."

"To someone like Richie, nice, level-headed, Richie...whereas you have me, the world's oldest drunk, irresponsible, always jumping the gun, running away, how could two types like us have met and joined?" Methos said.

"That's not what I meant, I mean..."

"Well it makes sense to me, MacLeod, that would explain it, Richie's dishonesty, his perforation of beer to scotch, his rebellious past, seeing stealing as easier than working for a living, you on the other hand gave him charm, virtue...he got his ego from you, I'll say that much..."

"This is a shock to me, Methos. And Amber already nailed all that personal stuff into me last night so I don't need to hear it from you," Duncan said.

"I thought you'd be happy for the boy, he finally found his family...at least what's left of it," Methos said.

"I'm trying...this is going to take time for all of us to get adjusted to...you know that."

"Well," Methos said, "do you want to wake the children, or should I...darling?"

Duncan smirked at the comment and said, "Fine, be a comedian."

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?" he asked.

"Me, and everyone else."

Duncan headed back into the bedroom where the young Immortals lay, and said, "Allright you two, time to get up."

Amber and Richie practically jumped at hearing that, Amber turned over and said, "Hey Richie, when'd we get Jack Torrance as a father?"

"Very funny you two, get up, time to get up," Duncan, seeing Richie had fallen asleep again, went over to his side of the bed and started slapping him to get him up, "Hey, get up. Come on you bag of bones, you've been in bed long enough."

"What are you, my wife?" Richie asked, "Leave me alone."

"Come on Richie, get up, someone has to have the pleasure of giving Joe a coronary when he finds out what the hell is going on around here," Amber said.

"True..."

Richie swung his feet around to the floor and got up, "Hey Mac."

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" Duncan asked.

"For not taking his head when you had the chance," Richie answered.

Richie headed out the door and downstairs and Amber followed behind him, leaving Duncan and Methos alone in the room.

"So, exactly how are you related to Richie?" he asked.

"We're related by marriage you could say, cousins..."

"These relatives of yours...do you think there's any direct relativity between them and Richie?"

"No...the relatives from my cousin's family married a cousin to that generation of the Ryans...There's none of me in him...at least not as far as I know...we never did find out who his father was. Her family never knew."

"Do you think you'll ever find out?" Duncan asked.

"Does it matter?" Methos asked, "at least now he knows that he IS with family. His family...like it or not, that's basically what we all are...at least he's alive and even has us...that's more than most people ever have. He's got someone keeping an eye on him, worrying about him."

"Do you think he'll last long this time?" Duncan asked.

"He's wiser now, I think he'll survive some time...he may live longer than us," Methos said.

"And if he doesn't?"

"If he doesn't, it won't really matter MacLeod, because by that time we'll probably both be dead. I say we know this now, so let's enjoy the time we have with the brat."


End file.
